Stability in any relationship is difficult to establish between two people who base the love they give on their own personal emotions. There are no rules or even guidelines to follow so the standard of love they give is altered as they go through changes. These alterations can be measured in time anywhere from moments to years and the causes can be as diverse as environment changes, health issues or problems of any kind, even if those problems are within their own personality such as anger or mood swings. Love based on emotion is why some relationships revolve daily in a wide range, everything from passion to hate, intimacy to revenge.
Human love produces doubt or fear in the other person in the relationship. Godly love has standards set in the Bible by a God who never changes. When you give godly love to a person on any level, such as a child, husband, boyfriend, neighbor or coworker, etc., they can be assured that your love will be true according to the type of relationship the two of you have. Most people feel a sense of safety, due to the love of God, in a firm Bible based relationship where even they have a set of rules to check if they desire. Satan has lost many of his best people because someone showed then the true love that God will put in the heart of a human being.
Even if we, who try to follow God's ways, make mistakes everyone has an opportunity to adjust because of the stability that God has laid out for us in the Bible. A relationship with biblical rules teaches each person what's expected of them for the relationship to grow as well as how they should respond when problems occur. There are times people don't want a relationship because godly love brings them under conviction. But when they really need something they will humble themselves and go to the person.
There are four different types of earthly or human love.
1. Love - implies intense fondness or deep devotion.
2. Affection - suggests warm, tender feelings, usually not as powerful or deep as those implied by love.
3. Attachment - implies connection by ties of affection, attraction, devotion, etc.
4. Infatuation - implies a foolish or unreasoning passion or affection, often a transient or not permanent.
The main problem of developing a relationship based on emotion is when that person does something that is uncomfortable to the other, feelings in the relationship change. Two people can start a relationship with infatuation. Feelings can move that relationship up the list until it reaches love with total devotion. However, when there is no supernatural strength, coming from a godly set of values or rules, feelings can change very easily.
Many of today's relationships are based on selfishness or "what's in it for me; expecting the other person to fulfill some inflated fantasy they have in their mind. People who don't know God's standard for giving and receiving love move in and out of relationships with standards provided by the world.
Godly love between two people is something that grows. Two people meet and are attracted to each other; but it's only with dignity (self-worth or honor) and respect (consideration for one's reputation, your own as well as the other person's) that the relationship will be truly stable. A lack of discretion from either person in a relationship is basically like the woman described in the scripture:
Proverbs 11:22 Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.
A person without discretion is degraded and will corrupt or lower the moral character of the other person. God's love is pure and holy between two people and creates a bond that will last throughout eternity.
God is the creator of passion; however He set the boundaries to exist within a relationship between a man and a woman. He has never changed his law. The New Testament is full of scriptures that prove the law of moral behavior is still the same today by God's standards, even though most of society now has very little moral values controlling their daily lives.
Hebrew 13:7-8 remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. (This represents any of the godly men and women in the Bible.) Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever
God is Love (1John 4:16). That is how He has described himself in the Bible. God extends to us a different form of love. It's a supernatural love that doesn't have the weaknesses that human love has. It's continual, stable and unconditional. It's righteous and honorable, given with respect and integrity.
God loves every person ever born equally; even though He hates the sin they may be involved in. He desires to express that love in a close relationship with every individual through our salvation in Jesus. God's greatest desire since He created Adam is for us to know Him and be close to Him. Therefore, he had the Bible written by His Spirit to men who He felt were qualified because of their relationship; first the Old Testament with men that knew Him and then the New Testament with men that knew his Son.
--
James Cruse.
About Me
- jamescruse
- Bartlett, Tennessee, United States
- I think one familiar short, yet most powerful statement a believer can say is "I’m “Walking by Faith”. At my age, I have been through countless storms, some small and some big. Nonetheless , my faith continues to carry me through. This is my life’s testimony. The world wants you to believe that there is something wrong with a life like mine because I've gone through and I’m still going through. They want you to believe that if you have what the Jones’s have then you are living a fulfilled life. Pretty funny, huh? Well, I walk by faith, and I know I’m God’s best. That should be fulfilling enough, and God is still completing me as I happily tell my story about how more complete my life is. As you walk by faith, you will be strengthened. You need to understand that challenges are merely new opportunities for you to reach your greatness. Finally, know that your life will truly be blessed when everything that you touch will provide you with a blessed life and no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. "Whatever I go through, whatever happens, "Either Way I Win"; whether God heals me here on earth, or heals me by calling me home to be with Him, "Either Way I Win"!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Relationhips
Today, I am writing about relationships. This is something that has been very heavy on my heart.
Webster defines relationship as; a connection, association, or involvement; a connection between persons by blood or marriage; an emotional or other connection between people; or sexual involvement; affair…etc.
Regardless of the type of relationship you may be involved in; one day, you may experience some level of hurt. Be it from a friend, family, or an exclusive union where both people in the relationship agree to be faithful and committed to each other; or a relationship where you and everyone said, “they are closer than close, a match made in heaven.” As final points, it could be a relationship that everyone saw as, put together by God; a relationship where both hearts felt comforted when they were close, or one you would have laid down your life and sacrificed your all for them. Then one day, for whatever reason, separation occurs and what you thought was secure, generates hurt and arouses rumors from others that the relationship was not all it appeared to be.
The bible says, ‘What God ordained and put together, no man can tear it apart”, but what about the person you so loved? What if he/she decides, they want more, that love just isn’t enough to retain the relationship? So, in your efforts to reaffirm, reconcile, restore the bond and rekindle the relationship you once enjoyed……you seek counseling; but your efforts were unsuccessful. They simply avoid the Word, Wisdom and Wonderful Warmth of the agreement. Perhaps that person just didn’t want to commit to responsibility, reportability, accountability, reliability or better yet, lovability. Could that person have reached a point of being ungrateful, disrespectful or displaying narcissistic tendencies? You know, having an inflated sense of their own importance by becoming so selfish with little regard for other people's feelings. It deals with love, and the conflict of being in love with someone hurtful to us. It hurts and hurts deep, resulting in a complex healing process.
When you hurt from such a relationship; the road to recovery could be difficult. But, guess what? There is a solution and victory when you turn it over to Jesus. He has your best interest at heart. Ask Him to help by imparting words of wisdom, giving you directions and strength to move on. After all, when you have done all you can, just stand on the foundation God has outlined.
"Dear Lord, I intercede now for all who have seen their relationships torn apart, despite attempts made to restore, renew and remove everything spitefully used to abuse and alter their lives. Father, I need you to rescue and rebuild broken hearts. Please heal and bring wholeness to hurting lives. Forgive sin and bring meaning and fulfilment into broken lives. Hearts are being surrendered so you can take control. Lord, help us to remain in love with You so we can love those who have chosen to leave, listen to others and let what You have taught us in Your Word be slighted and misused. Now Lord, I am confident that you will never depart, forsake, nor hurt us as we surrender our all to you. Help us to move on; to live, love and learn.
Amen.
--
James Cruse EWIW
Webster defines relationship as; a connection, association, or involvement; a connection between persons by blood or marriage; an emotional or other connection between people; or sexual involvement; affair…etc.
Regardless of the type of relationship you may be involved in; one day, you may experience some level of hurt. Be it from a friend, family, or an exclusive union where both people in the relationship agree to be faithful and committed to each other; or a relationship where you and everyone said, “they are closer than close, a match made in heaven.” As final points, it could be a relationship that everyone saw as, put together by God; a relationship where both hearts felt comforted when they were close, or one you would have laid down your life and sacrificed your all for them. Then one day, for whatever reason, separation occurs and what you thought was secure, generates hurt and arouses rumors from others that the relationship was not all it appeared to be.
The bible says, ‘What God ordained and put together, no man can tear it apart”, but what about the person you so loved? What if he/she decides, they want more, that love just isn’t enough to retain the relationship? So, in your efforts to reaffirm, reconcile, restore the bond and rekindle the relationship you once enjoyed……you seek counseling; but your efforts were unsuccessful. They simply avoid the Word, Wisdom and Wonderful Warmth of the agreement. Perhaps that person just didn’t want to commit to responsibility, reportability, accountability, reliability or better yet, lovability. Could that person have reached a point of being ungrateful, disrespectful or displaying narcissistic tendencies? You know, having an inflated sense of their own importance by becoming so selfish with little regard for other people's feelings. It deals with love, and the conflict of being in love with someone hurtful to us. It hurts and hurts deep, resulting in a complex healing process.
When you hurt from such a relationship; the road to recovery could be difficult. But, guess what? There is a solution and victory when you turn it over to Jesus. He has your best interest at heart. Ask Him to help by imparting words of wisdom, giving you directions and strength to move on. After all, when you have done all you can, just stand on the foundation God has outlined.
"Dear Lord, I intercede now for all who have seen their relationships torn apart, despite attempts made to restore, renew and remove everything spitefully used to abuse and alter their lives. Father, I need you to rescue and rebuild broken hearts. Please heal and bring wholeness to hurting lives. Forgive sin and bring meaning and fulfilment into broken lives. Hearts are being surrendered so you can take control. Lord, help us to remain in love with You so we can love those who have chosen to leave, listen to others and let what You have taught us in Your Word be slighted and misused. Now Lord, I am confident that you will never depart, forsake, nor hurt us as we surrender our all to you. Help us to move on; to live, love and learn.
Amen.
--
James Cruse EWIW
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Coming Together as One
"Each part... helps the other parts grow." Ephesians 4:16 (NLT)
Next time you're walking in the woods, imagine what's taking place under your feet. As the roots of trees come into contact with one another they form an underground support system. One has access to water, another to nutrients, another to sunlight, etc. A ministry is taking place that strengthens them all. This is what Paul had in mind: "[Under His direction], the whole body is fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love." Some of us independent types have difficulty when it comes to networking. We fly solo, until we crash and burn! Eventually our pain, not our brain, shows us our need for things like:
(1) Show His Mercy. "Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others" (Col 3:13 NLT). What motivates us to show mercy to others? God's mercy to us. You'll never be asked to forgive someone else more than God has already forgiven you.
(2) Share His Message. "Be sympathetic ...kind...gentle and patient" (Col 3:12 GWT). Sympathy meets two fundamental human needs we all have: the need to be understood and the need to have our feelings validated. The problem is we're in such a hurry to fix people that we don't have time to sympathize with them. We're too preoccupied with our own hurts. Self-pity dries up sympathy for others.
(3) Speak His Ministry. "I want us to help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you" (Ro 1:12 NCV). All of us are strengthened in our faith when others walk with us and encourage us. So today, practice ministry!
Next time you're walking in the woods, imagine what's taking place under your feet. As the roots of trees come into contact with one another they form an underground support system. One has access to water, another to nutrients, another to sunlight, etc. A ministry is taking place that strengthens them all. This is what Paul had in mind: "[Under His direction], the whole body is fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love." Some of us independent types have difficulty when it comes to networking. We fly solo, until we crash and burn! Eventually our pain, not our brain, shows us our need for things like:
(1) Show His Mercy. "Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others" (Col 3:13 NLT). What motivates us to show mercy to others? God's mercy to us. You'll never be asked to forgive someone else more than God has already forgiven you.
(2) Share His Message. "Be sympathetic ...kind...gentle and patient" (Col 3:12 GWT). Sympathy meets two fundamental human needs we all have: the need to be understood and the need to have our feelings validated. The problem is we're in such a hurry to fix people that we don't have time to sympathize with them. We're too preoccupied with our own hurts. Self-pity dries up sympathy for others.
(3) Speak His Ministry. "I want us to help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you" (Ro 1:12 NCV). All of us are strengthened in our faith when others walk with us and encourage us. So today, practice ministry!
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